It didn't take long for this resolution to get thrown under the bus. I don't feel very guilty; I've found a new outlet. Last fall I contacted AnySoldier.com and found a group of guys in Iraq that share my sense of humor and overall immaturity. I send them action figures; they send me PowerPoint presentations of the figures. If I could figure out how to do it, I'd post Jawas Rampage here for you all to enjoy. It is rated R, however. I may have to omit the slide of the Jawas sharing a post-coitus smoke with Amanda Waller.
Saturday I spent nearly the entire morning pasting copies of one soldier's Facebook profile onto the bodies of models in a men's health magazine. I hope he finds it amusing. Cracked me up for hours.
The Governor and I were watching some Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network or something on Sunday, and the network had a little feature on "Top Ten Most Annoying Things Your Parents Say or Do." Number One was "..when they don't act their age." And I thought about how I can spend an hour posing an action figure for a funny photo and came to the conclusion that my kids are doomed. Poor boys.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Literally
We are temporary landlords to a bunch of pigs.
And yes, we do call them "Bacon" and "Sausage" when we bring them scraps.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Of Course
Tomorrow night is my first outdoor game of the season. Forecast: rain and cold. Of course.
I'm not sure there exists a greater form of sport than playing soccer in your long johns in freezing rain. I'm willing to allow for the possibility, but my skepticism runs deep.
I'm not sure there exists a greater form of sport than playing soccer in your long johns in freezing rain. I'm willing to allow for the possibility, but my skepticism runs deep.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Need to write
So...I think that by waiting for more than a year between posts, I've managed to evade any readers. Which is fine, because this is just an exercise. Scratch paper. I have found that I miss writing a lot. Last fall I started sending letters and packages to some soldiers in Iraq. One soldier was kind enough to email back and tell me that my letter was read and re-read; he and his buddies enjoyed it a lot. That made me feel great, because I had a very amusing time writing it. I'm glad they share my sense of humor.
So I miss writing to amuse myself. And others. And I miss having a record of what my family has been doing. I saved copies of all my old blog posts, and it has turned into a journal that helps prod my faulty memory. I won't lose all the funny (and not so funny) stories about how my boys have grown.
To update: The Senator is now 11 and in 5th grade. He's the tallest kid in his grade, and possibly 6th grade as well. This is his first year in the middle school. He's not fond of school. He is fond of hunting and fishing. He may not be able to balance a check book when he graduates high school, but he'll have the envious ability to sit in a deer stand for hours and look for turkeys.
The poor boy also suffers from acne. Already. I haven't seen any of his friends similarly affected. I can only hope that if he did hit puberty early (his voice is changing too), he'll come out of it sooner than his friends. And when his senior year prom rolls around, he'll be the only one with a clear face. Is that evil?
The Governor is now 8 and in second grade. We just finished celebrating his birthday. We rented one of those bouncer/moonwalk inflatable things. Talk about a low-maintenance party. "Go bounce." Sit on the front porch with a soda. Every once in a while yell, "Take 'er easy in there!" Grill hot dogs. Eat cake. Send boys home. I highly recommend it.
We also celebrated with a family dinner at Benihana - the Japanese steak house where the food is cooked right in front of you. We went last year for The Gov's 7th birthday and he loved it. Well, he liked the chicken. And the spatula-flipping chef. And the ice cream. He wouldn't try much else. This year, it was a different story. He ate the soup. He ate shrimp. He ate his father's shrimp. He ate mushrooms. He ate zuchini.
I couldn't believe it was my son. I guess he's growing too.
Old Hoocher (the pet therapy dog) is still here, but he's showing his age. I tried taking him back to the nursing home, after a couple of years off, but we stopped after a couple of weeks. He can't jump up into the car anymore without help. And frankly, he hates baths so much, I just can't do it to him week after week. I think he's earned his retirement. He still loves to go for walks. He eats a lot of table scraps. He rolls in the grass, and chases the deer, although he has completely give up on the rabbits. He's a good dog. A filthy dog, but a good one.
The VP and I are enjoying having older children. We've started leaving them alone for a couple of hours at a time. I'm not sure they realize we only do it when we know their grandparents are home next door, but to them it's the greatest freedom in the world. Not that they do anything differently...but NO PARENTS! A couple of times I've come home from work just a few minutes after them, and it tickles me to watch The Governor's face fall when he sees me. "You're home already?!" That one will have his own apartment the day he turns 18. Unless The Corps has him first.
Well, how's that for a comeback. No promises. I might just wait until 2011 before I post again. But I hope I can make it a habit. I still wish I had my old site; I loved posting pictures on that one. It's just not the same on Blogger. But we'll see.
And just in case...Hi Matt. :)
So I miss writing to amuse myself. And others. And I miss having a record of what my family has been doing. I saved copies of all my old blog posts, and it has turned into a journal that helps prod my faulty memory. I won't lose all the funny (and not so funny) stories about how my boys have grown.
To update: The Senator is now 11 and in 5th grade. He's the tallest kid in his grade, and possibly 6th grade as well. This is his first year in the middle school. He's not fond of school. He is fond of hunting and fishing. He may not be able to balance a check book when he graduates high school, but he'll have the envious ability to sit in a deer stand for hours and look for turkeys.
The poor boy also suffers from acne. Already. I haven't seen any of his friends similarly affected. I can only hope that if he did hit puberty early (his voice is changing too), he'll come out of it sooner than his friends. And when his senior year prom rolls around, he'll be the only one with a clear face. Is that evil?
The Governor is now 8 and in second grade. We just finished celebrating his birthday. We rented one of those bouncer/moonwalk inflatable things. Talk about a low-maintenance party. "Go bounce." Sit on the front porch with a soda. Every once in a while yell, "Take 'er easy in there!" Grill hot dogs. Eat cake. Send boys home. I highly recommend it.
We also celebrated with a family dinner at Benihana - the Japanese steak house where the food is cooked right in front of you. We went last year for The Gov's 7th birthday and he loved it. Well, he liked the chicken. And the spatula-flipping chef. And the ice cream. He wouldn't try much else. This year, it was a different story. He ate the soup. He ate shrimp. He ate his father's shrimp. He ate mushrooms. He ate zuchini.
I couldn't believe it was my son. I guess he's growing too.
Old Hoocher (the pet therapy dog) is still here, but he's showing his age. I tried taking him back to the nursing home, after a couple of years off, but we stopped after a couple of weeks. He can't jump up into the car anymore without help. And frankly, he hates baths so much, I just can't do it to him week after week. I think he's earned his retirement. He still loves to go for walks. He eats a lot of table scraps. He rolls in the grass, and chases the deer, although he has completely give up on the rabbits. He's a good dog. A filthy dog, but a good one.
The VP and I are enjoying having older children. We've started leaving them alone for a couple of hours at a time. I'm not sure they realize we only do it when we know their grandparents are home next door, but to them it's the greatest freedom in the world. Not that they do anything differently...but NO PARENTS! A couple of times I've come home from work just a few minutes after them, and it tickles me to watch The Governor's face fall when he sees me. "You're home already?!" That one will have his own apartment the day he turns 18. Unless The Corps has him first.
Well, how's that for a comeback. No promises. I might just wait until 2011 before I post again. But I hope I can make it a habit. I still wish I had my old site; I loved posting pictures on that one. It's just not the same on Blogger. But we'll see.
And just in case...Hi Matt. :)
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